Tuesday 19 April 2011

Relationship Health for Dummies

It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being|Many couples forget their roots. Once they become a couple, they often lose track of the reasons why they bonded in the first place. Why is that?  As individuals do we really change that much?  I don't think so. So why the drift? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. To repair the damage, an active program of preventative maintenance is required.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—I bet there was a lot more teasing, kissing, fondling, and with the technology these days, a lot more texting too . Sending those little love notes or messages to each other throughout the day does wonders in moving a relationship forward.Why would we want to let that initial excitement die? Some relationships were never meant to last, but of those that are, it is important that we actively pursue success.  Failure is not just about stress.  Many of the issues were probably the ones that made us closer in the first place.

We fall into a pattern- we get lazy. Both partners get into their comfort zone, and let things go,and before you know it their at that point where they never thought they'd be. Men might get in the habit of checking out other women and not paying attention to the one they are with.  Women might take a look at the cute butt of some hot guy, and romanticize about them. The issue is that we start to neglect each other in small ways that end up being very significant in the long run. We make each other feel less attractive, less desirable and less needed. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Women you need to speak up, and express your  disapproval, and men you  need to listen without getting your  backs up, and vice versa.  We need to always be aware of our partners feelings - relationships take work, and when both partners work at it - it grows into a lasting romance. Here are some examples of points to ponder to keep a relationship healthy:

1) Make a conscious effort to compliment your partner on a daily basis- you will be surprised at how how much a compliment means to your partner, and how good it makes them feel
2) Love them and tell them that you love them. Never force them to assume that you love them
3) Men have to stop staring at other women – it may be conditioned by advertising, but it is just demeaning to your partner. And women need to think about comments that they may make about other guys.
4)  Dishonesty is the root of all relationship dissension – make a habit of telling the truth, even if it might lead to embarrassing explanations.
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Talk to each other and make sure you bring up issues and work them through before they become an insurmountable obstacle.
7) Start your day off with a kiss and a statement that re-enforces your love and commitment to each other.
8) Be spontaneous- flirt with each other-  a little kissing on a stairwell before work can be rather sexy, and keep your partner thinking about you throughout the day
9) Make sure that you smile and take life as the fun adventure that it is meant to be. You may think that frowning and being serious all the time is a way to get ahead in life, but in actual fact it works against you in your personal life, your relationships and in your professional business life as well.
10)  Never go to bed angry – talk it out and work it out – the best thing for a relationship is a kiss before you go to sleep. The second best thing is sex before you go to sleep. You cannot have the second without the first.

Relationships are hard work but worth the effort. Keep at it so that your relationship becomes more play than work. When it becomes second nature to you, you have truly achieved the epiphany of satisfaction.

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