Life for a transsexual person can be tough. We are such a small part of the population, that it is difficult to find anyone who has a clue about what you are about, or who would be compatible with you. I now understand from first hand experience that transsexual people in smaller centres often lead a lonely, despondent life. For this reason, transsexuals seem to gravitate to big cities all over the world.
My first experience with online romance happened several years ago in chat-rooms on AOL. At first, I thought that the chat room concept was exactly what I needed to meet people from other communities. I was not strongly tied to my community and was willing to move just about anywhere if I met the right person. Little did I know I was risking my emotional stability in my quest for online romance. I would soon learn that I had ventured into a virtual snake pit. Anonymity seem to give way to all manners of behaviours that you certainly would not get away with in every day life. It didn't take long for me to realize that chat-rooms were the favourite choice of liars, cheaters, junkies and thieves, not to mention every manner of bad boys and girls.
At the time I stumbled upon AOL I was living by myself in a not so populated part of the country. I was very alone and thought this site had great possibilities for meeting a nice person. That’s when I made the decision to try and find someone online.
Finding people to chat with was not any problem. I met many. Unfortunately I could not find someone who I thought was “the one”. I once thought that my dream boat had been found, but as I got to know them better I realized that the ship should sail without me!
I found that the online community had few of the rules that bound normal behavior. People lie about who they are or what they do all the time. Since you are at the end of a wire, nobody knows who you really are, so it is pretty safe to lie. It can bring out the best and the worst in a person. Since official body monitors what it is that people are saying and doing, you will find that people will say and do the most amazing things. Many of them pile the BS on so high you would need pitons to climb over it. You can play games with peoples feelings, hurt people and even play sadistic games with them for your own pleasure. You can even manipulate the innocent emotions of others who have not yet discovered what a real snake pit some online chat-rooms are. Then after you have screwed with their emotions you can vanish into thin air and then just pop up again later using a different name.
People on chat rooms range from really nice to really hurtful. Depending on the person or their mood, they can leave you feeling elated, or just as often they can leave you feeling depressed. They can leave you with serious questions about your own self worth. If you let them, they can even drive you to the brink of suicide. On top of that, if you fall for someone you met on a chat-room and get hurt, you will likely blame yourself for being so gullible.
You really need to use your head when you're seeking romance online. I have found that one good litmus test is to see early on if they are willing to talk on the phone. It seems that people who are just conning you do not want that level of traceability.
I decided that I was being strung along very often. In an effort to not waste as much time, I decided to set targets and goals with each new person that I met. I used the guideline of one week of chatting as being the introductory period. If I was still interested in taking it further, I would insist that at least some communications happen by phone. This proved to be a good way of getting rid of the jetsam before I got too emotionally involved.
It is truly amazing how many people vanish into the ether when confronted with talking on a phone! If you want to really know someone, telephone is a better mechanism than chat. For one thing, if it is the same person with different names, you will pick up on that pretty quickly. If they are lying, people are more adept at picking up liars when speaking than when typing. If they don't want to talk to you by phone then they're just wasting your time and nothing will come of it.
Chatting by phone is also a good way to find out whether or not you can trust the person that sends you little smiley faces. Until then you really have no reason to trust them, nor should you invest your heart. The other thing about phone communications is the fact that it can actually be overheard. If you have tapped into someone who is already in a relationship and trying to hide what they are doing, then you will find that the times you can talk by telephone is really restricted. Do I smell a rat here?
It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that I was pretty down on chat room relationships.A friend of mine suggested online dating, I freaked out and told him that I had wasted so much time and energy on chat-room losers that I didn't want to hear the word “online” again. He explained that it was not a chat room but a dating site, a transsexual dating site. I was flabbergasted! I had no idea they even existed. he gave me the domain name of a site that listed and rated hundreds of specialty dating sites, including a page of transsexual dating sites.
Well let me tell you had it worked out. I tried signed up to a couple of transvestite dating sites and found the person of my dreams. If online dating sites can work for me, they can work for anybody!
Have Fun!
Transvestite Dating
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