Dating Chinese

When both people in a potential dating relationship are Chinese, they are well aware of Chinese cultural norms. However, if one partner is not Chinese, explanations about Chinese culture and its impact on dating are necessary.

Here are some insights on the Chinese way of thinking:

Chinese women are typically a little coy and expect the man to make the first move. In Chinese culture the men still chase the women, and women expect them to lead when it comes to starting a relationship.

If you are contacted by a Chinese woman on a online dating site always be respectful and polite.

In the Chinese culture, you are expected to disclose information about everything, from type of car and size of house, down to the state of your health, your position at work and the amount of money that you make. It is all considered to contribute to your status in society, so you need to be willing to discuss it. Not wanting discussing it seems very strange to Chinese people and they will think you are trying to hide something.

Most women in China marry at an early age and Chinese men find it a little strange for women to be in their thirty's and still single. Chinese women over the age of 30 who find themselves still unattached are likely to welcome any opportunity to form a lasting relationship. Women who have been divorced or widowed are often considered invisible on the dating scene and will usually welcome the attention.

In the Chinese culture, your education level is part of your status, and as such, people expect you to be up front with the level attained. They greatly respect people with advanced degrees.

In the Chinese culture, women are taught to see security in financial stability. They will tend to marry success rather than looks.

A big majority of Chinese people who have a good command of the English language are usually well educated. Those who are not probably have never had the opportunity to learn, so a little patience will make it a little easier for them to learn, remember patience is a virtue.

Since religion was banned in China under the reign of chairman Mao, many people in China do not have a practicing religion.

In Chinese society, the man is expected to pay for everything on a date, this includes dinner, movies, theatre, snacks and, if needed, taxis.

Chinese people usually date with the idea of starting a long term relationship. Dating for fun or for casual sex is not normally something that they do.

Many Chinese people will avoid drinking alcohol, so it would be wise not to suggest stopping for a drink on your first date, instead it would be a better idea to suggest lunch or maybe a coffee or tea.

Do not have any expectations of mainland Chinese people showing up for a date on time. It is not in the culture..

Try not be offended if he or she wants to help you tidy up your things or perform some kind of maintenance around your home, mowing the lawn, doing dishes maybe even helping you paint, it means that he or she really likes you and wants to do something nice to help you out.

Chinese people are very attentive to the sick, and are also very health conscious. Expect them to be vocal about things they see you do that they do not think is healthy.

Chinese are non-demonstrative in their love. They may be bonkers over you, but they would never be so crude as to actually say that out loud. Understatement of affection is the name of the game. They show affection more by actions than words.

Being aware of some of the major differences in the culture between the western world and China will help you to be a little more understanding towards each other and of each others expectations.

I hope this article was helpful to you as well as informative, being tolerant of each others differences makes for a happier relationship so if you are interested in meeting lovely beautiful people with a Chinese background you have reached the right place. Attractive Chinese ladies and men from all social backgrounds would love to meet you so just follow the link below.

Asian Dating

Can You Believe This Mind Set?

This story originates from my first three years in the working world. I was working in a small town store that sold stereos, television sets, pianos, organs, and appliances. I had been married quite recently and could not afford to do much after work. The staff was quite small, only five people on the upstairs floor and two in the service shop downstairs. The service people seldom interacted with staff socially. There was the boss of course, another salesperson besides me, and two bookkeepers in the back office. One of the bookkeepers was in her 70's. She was an aged spinster and the boss kept her employed for sentimental reasons. She had been with the store for 35 years after all. The other bookkeeper, Cathy, was barely twenty. This was her first full time job. (She did a lot of the routine work under the direction of the more senior staff member. She did most of the routine work under the direction of the older lady. The senior person dealt with paying invoices from our wholesalers, and in payment delinquencies from customers.|She did most of the details of bookkeeping under the day to day direction of the older lady. They had a severe personality clash between them, but most of the time that did not affect their work. The younger girl just loved to catch the older ladies mistakes, and often I heard all about the latest fiasco over lunch.

On Monday morning when we first arrived, we tended to BS about our weekend happenings.  Being recently married had put a serious cash crunch on my entry level wages, so all we could afford to do was hang out with our friends playing cards or just talking. I was told the old lady spent most of her Saturday night and Sunday after church drinking scotch. The other sales associate was a woman around 55 years old who spent most of her weekend cooking for her family and extended family. We managed to kibbutz around in the morning almost every day because the boss was usually a no-show until about 10:00 AM

The last person on staff was the junior bookkeeper Cathy. She was young, but looking for a husband. Her methodology was to frequent the local bars every weekend with her girl pack looking to see if she could have fun, and ultimately snag herself a husband. Because all of the rest of us could only talk about the same stuff we talked about last week, invariably, the conversation on Monday tended to center on Cathy's latest exploits. She had a way of dramatizing the mundane, so if nothing else, her stories were more interesting than – 'I cooked dinner for my family'. Cathy would never win a beauty contest, but she would never come in dead last either. She was a bit heavier that some of her friends but not so much that you would even remark on it. Unfortunately she fixated on her slight weight issue as being the bane of her existence and why she was not having any luck landing her prince charming. From my point of view, her attitude was what was hindering her most. The following story best illustrates this.

One particular Monday, Cathy was talking about her Saturday night. As usual, she was out with her usual crowd of girlfriends. She was whining that her Saturday evening was a bust because she did not get to dance at all. She mentioned that this guy had come up to their table just as they got there, and had asked one of her friends to dance and was turned down. He then proceeded to ask each of the other girls, who all turned him down. Over the next hour, she had watched him ask other girls in the club, who all turned him down, so he left. She then laughed at how stupid he was to be so persistent.  I asked her why it was stupid, because from my point of view it looked like he just wanted to dance.

She said that once one of the girls at her table had turned him down, it was pointless to ask the others because there is no way they could say yes to him. If they had, it would be admitting to the other girls that they were not as good as they were. Since she had my curiosity piqued, I asked her for more of an explanation.  She said that after being turned down by all the women at our table, he then proceeded to ask other women at other tables, and they of course had to turn him down too. When I inquired why, she said that all the other girls would not want to look second best to the ones who had already refused him. So they had to refuse him too. Otherwise, they would have pretty much admitted to being second best to the other women in the room.

In a desperate attempt at that point in my life to try to fathom the meanderings of the female mind, I asked a couple of other questions. I asked her what was wrong with him. Did he look like an ape or something? She said that he was actually quite good looking, and she had been hoping for weeks that he would ask her to dance. Then I asked why it was the first girl had turned him down. She said it was just because they did not even have a chance to take of their coats yet or order drinks or anything. So I asked Cathy if the guy would have asked her first, would she have danced with him. She said yes because she had been hoping that he would have asked her for weeks.  My eyes were now crossing trying to follow this distorted logic.

So I summarized my understanding up to that point in time. I said that you knew your girlfriend had turned him down just because she was tired, and that you had wanted him to ask you to dance for weeks. She said that was right. But he did ask you and you turned him down, and then had a crappy Saturday night because nobody else asked you to dance. She said yes, thats just the way it goes sometimes.

By now, I was feeling that I should show her the errors of her ways, so I asked a few more questions. I asked her to think like a guy for a bit and tell me which of the people she would have approached first if she was a guy. She said that she supposed she would have approached the same girl that he did, because she was cuter, even though her personality was not as good as hers (Cathy's). So I asked if she had ever talked to the guy, and she indicated that she had not. So I asked her how was it that he would know she had a better personality if he she had never given him the opportunity to talk to her when he asked her to dance? She looked at me like I was mentally deficient or something. “Weren't you listening to me? I already told you why I could not dance with him!”, she said.  At that point I dropped the conversation. It was clearly pointless.

A few weeks later, Cathy was moping around on Monday. I talked to her a bit and got her to open up as to what her problem was. She said that the guy she really liked had shown up with a new girlfriend on his arm, and they danced all night. She said that the girl was not that good looking, and was not even a good dancer. I suggested that it was a shame that she had screwed up her chance to be with him. So again, she looked at me like I had the IQ of a slug and said, “I already told you that it was impossible for me to say yes to him that night!”  About a year later, Cathy was moping around the office for a couple of months. One of her girlfriends told me that they guy she really liked had married that girl. She still had not said boo to the guy. The only thing that she had ever said to him was to refuse to dance with him.

I did not stay at that store much longer. I found a much better paying job with a more stable future elsewhere in the city. I trained the guy who replaced me and we became passing friends. He stayed on for ten years. When he left, Cathy was still working at the store, still all alone, and still searching the bars for Mr. Right.

I guess she never did learn!


For more advice with online dating and male – female relationships, follow the link below:

Advice for Men

How To Stimulate an Orgasm in Women

In Victorian times, most adult females did not have orgasms. In fact, a lot of them did not understand what an orgasm was.  Many women were brought up with no sexual instruction, and sometimes with negative messages about their bodies, and their sexuality. Another study ending in 2005 found that one third of women did not (or seldom) orgasm, and just one tenth always achieved an orgasm. Many women have serious troubles having an orgasm. A woman who cannot have an orgasm is as frustrated as a man with an erectile disfunction.

So how can we change this, especially when most women now a days  want orgasms. Lets start by defining a female orgasm.  An orgasm in women is similar to that in men-there is a surge of emotion, in a moment of incredible enjoyment, and a pulsing, twitchy sensation that spreads out through the body.  The rhythmic contractions take place within the area of the pelvis also encompassing the vaginal walls. Another difference here is that women don't experience a refractory period, and will usually be able to have many orgasms with continued clitoral stimulation, often within a minute or two. In most women, there is no fluid ejaculated during orgasm.  Men need to understand this so that they do not feel they are under-performing if their partner does not ejaculate during an orgasm.

With the help of a skilled lover, most women can achieve multiple orgasms if they want.

Unlike men who can ejaculate quite quickly if they are being masturbated---women need the right conditions. For instance:

1) Women  must feel appreciated, and wanted a romantic atmosphere
3) A person they click with
4) Being at ease
5) The right degree if clitoral stimulation – not to rough, not too easy

You will unlikely simulate your female partner to orgasm without most of the previous conditions being met.

Men should understand that women generally have several variations of orgasms---the most common is orgasm of the clitoris.  The clitoris may be stimulated in a few ways, but the most common are oral stimulation or hand manipulation. The clitoral orgasm can have fluid expelled or be dry, and climaxes in uterus contractions . Another type of orgasm is called the G Spot. The G spot is tougher to zero in on: it is located about halfway between the back of the pubic bone, and the front of the cervix. In most women the G-spot is about 3 inches into the vagina, and on the upper side.  Gentle but firm pressure is required to find the G spot if the woman is not stimulated yet.  It is a slightly more pliable area about 1/3 of an inch in size. The size, and exact location vary.  A vaginal orgasm will usually occur if the G-spot is appropriately stimulated.

Figure 1, Internal Female Anatomy:

In summation, sex with orgasms are something amazing that will provide both partners with a wonderful rush of pleasurable feelings. The following can help both of you have orgasms regularly:

1) Women like affection---use your hands, and or mouth to caress her bodyDo not be rough as the genital area is extremely sensitive – you may want to look into something like KY jelly to keep things moist, especially if you have leathery skin on your hands
3) Gently kiss her breasts to create excitement
4) Take it slow- it is not a race
5) Ask her if she likes what you are doing and ask her to tell you what she wants
6) Women like you to tease them sexually – touch and withdraw many times. This will intensify the orgasm and the pleasure for both of you.
7) If she is dry – the most likely case at the beginning of sexual intercourse, use your own natural lubrication, or else use a lubricant like KY Jelly – if she is dry, sex will be painful and cause lasting damage.
8) Learn her body- does her nipples get hard only during arousal or are they like that at other times
9) Try new things as variety can add to the pleasure
10) Don't make demands: this could spoil the moment

Men should use this guide, because if their partner can enjoy orgasms every time they have sex, then you will definitely have more sex.

If you are an sexually unhappy woman – nag your partner to read this article, after all, your entire future is at stake!

Good Luck!

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